My brilliant idea at another's expense

Like most housewives, a majority of my time is spent cleaning. Granted, I tend to not pick up after myself, so hours later I turn back around and notice there are messes in at least a few corners of the house. Terrible habit. I don't recommend it.

Anyway, I got to thinking about how much of my time is spent picking up after either myself, my daughter, my dog, or, except recently, my husband. I'm sure it is at least a good 2 hours a day. There are so many things I would much rather do with that 2 hours! Like make MORE of a mess, or nap. Those are pretty much my two favorite options.

So, how, without paying for a maid to come in a few times a week (yes, I can be that lazy), or even better yet, a live in maid, can I get back those hours spent cleaning and straightening? I sat and thought about it, as I stared at the piles of laundry needing to be put away, the dirty dishes slowly collecting at the sink (I swear, they multiply like rabbits), the scraps of fabric from my latest project, a pile of Tori's toys scattered around, and the crackers ground into my couch. After a few minutes, I decided, the best action to take care of this (besides doing it myself, because that is just too much work) is to find myself a wife. I mean, I am currently in the correct state for that afterall! Might as well take advantage of the opportunity. Only problems are, I'm not sharing my husband, and unless I have a couple cocktails in me (probably more than a couple...) she won't be of any use to me either, although I'm sure the husband would disagree.

So, now I've got myself a predicament. How do I convince someone to become my friend, and then pick up after me every day. I cook, and love it, but my cooking is not THAT great. Perhaps if we made her think that cleaning was her rent she would consider it.

Time to place my ad:
WANTED: Wife, without the "benefits", free room and board, and will only have to cook 1-2x week. Please contact Tiffany. Thanks. P.S. Don't forget your rubber cleaning gloves.