Pay day and the commissary

Like most enlisted (especially lower ranks) military, payday is a huge deal to us. It means we've got the money to pay bills, grocery shop, and even go out to dinner (something that still almost never happens). Well, today was that day. We needed just a few essentials, and since the Commissary (the base grocery store) has the best prices, it's always a good idea to get stuff there. Plus, we were going to be on base anyway. Well, we pull into the parking lot and it's packed. I mean packed. Thank God I'm pregnant so I got my maternity parking, otherwise it would have been quite a barge across the snow/ice covered parking lot. Especially with a toddler who wants to walk everywhere.
So, anyway, we get inside and it's just miserable. I find out that not only was today payday for the active duty folk like ourselves, but it was also the day all the retirees get their monthly check. So, every old person in the greater surrounding area who served in the military is SLOWLY walking muttering to themselves as they try to do math on their calculators. Then of course there are the couples who have lost each other on the same isle and just look completely lost for a few moments until they spot each other. You feel a little bad for them, but at the same time, you're too busy trying to maneuver your cart (and toddler) around to really care. Anyway, you're constantly saying "Excuse me. EXCUSE ME." Until the person hears you, and moves.
Then finally, you have made your way around the store, and it's time to check out. So, you head to the front and go to get in line, when, what's this? You cannot find the end. You begin to follow the winding line of carts, children, and adults until you find yourself back in the frozen foods section in the opposite side of the store saying "Oh my... what do I not need? Can this pass for under 15??" Luckily today, I had John with me, so, I ran and got a hand basket, gave him about 10 items, and we both stood in the express line. I should mention this was also extremely long, but, it went an awful lot quicker since you didn't have the people pushing two fully loaded carts along and attempting to check out with them. So, we pretended to not know each other, checked out, and then met back up at the store exit.
Quite an ordeal. But, I got everything I need to make John my steak and egg rancheros with homemade salsa for breakfast one of these days, cream for the ice cream I'm going to make tonight, and cleaning supplies to thoroughly cleanse my house from the damn mice we've been dealing with. I should mention there is at least 1 still here since I keep finding poop. I am determined to catch the bastard, even if it means I have to cut it in half with one of those old school mouse traps. Not my idea of a good time, but, hey, it saves me from having a contaminated, mouse poop, house.

One more week

It seems like just a couple weeks ago we found out John was going to be deploying to Afghanistan, which makes it all that much harder to think that in just one week, he will be boarding his plane leaving Tori, Ozzie, and pregnant me behind. Luckily, it will be a short deployment (thank you Air Force!!!) of about 120 days, so hopefully he'll be back early to mid May, about 4.5 months. Which means he'll be back right after the baby is born, such a relief. I keep worrying he'll be delayed and I'll be here in the snow alone for weeks with a newborn and toddler. Not exactly my idea of a great time.

While John's deployed he will be living in a dorm with 4 other people in his room. Yes, you heard me. 4 men SHARING a dorm room. If you were one of the lucky few to experience dorm life in college, you understand just how crazy this seems. If not, a dorm is about 200 sq feet. I'm not sure if these are larger, but I sure hope so. In order to create privacy, they tell you to bring an extra sheet or blanket so you can hang it up to create a makeshift wall. And one guy was telling John that his mattress was up against the wall in his section, so when he would sleep either his head or his feet were always elevated. Crazy. The good news is, the bathrooms and showers are in the same building, and the dorms are heated. Or at least right now they are. I guess the heat was just fixed, lucky for John. And hopefully they'll stay fixed since Afghanistan is having their cold season right now, which is similar to Utah weather, without the snow.

So, anyway, we're trying to get the last minute supplies and spend as much time together as possible. So, for those of you I still need to contact to thank you for your Christmas gifts, please understand that although the holidays may be over (sort of, New Years is in a couple days) we're still running around trying to get everything we wanted to get done. So, hopefully I will have time this week to call you. Thanks for your understanding.

Merry Sickmas

I went to bed late last night after cleaning, baking, stuffing stockings, and making sure everything was perfect for this morning. I couldn't sleep, and just assumed it was the 10 year old in me getting excited for Christmas, but when I woke up at about 7 and realized my breathing was a little more labored than usual, and not to mention painful, I knew I had come down with a cold. So, after taking a shower and some Tylenol cold, I decided it was a lost cause, and since John was feeling the same way, we would just have to trade off all day watching Tori. So, I made my Swedish Tea Ring breakfast while John took a long bath and a nap, then when he came out, I laid down on the couch and rested, eventually falling asleep at some point. Now we're both awake and just wanting the day to end so we can crawl into bed and pass out. Not my ideal Christmas, but, it beats the alternative of not having one at all.
I think the worst part is that I can only take Tylenol since I'm pregnant. Otherwise I would be chugging DayQuil (my cold medicine of choice) like John has been and probably feeling a lot better. Then some NyQuil to help put me to sleep. I have heard pregnant women can take Tylenol PM, but I don't think I'd risk it. Hopefully I will be so exhausted come 9PM that I won't need it and hopefully by some miracle, the exhaustion carries me through the whole night.
Anyway, in a merrier note, Tori loved everything she got. Luckily I got her toys, and everyone else got her clothes (something that kid ALWAYS needs) and shoes, so, she's set. Her big present from Santa was this dancing Mickey Mouse, and she's been dancing with it all morning. It's super cute. I can't wait till next year when we can actually make cookies and give the reindeer carrots. And she'll understand that there is a happy, fat, little man who likes to sneak into people's houses once a year, eat their food, drink their milk, and leave presents. Sounds like a good deal to me. After all, we cook for friends all the time, and they don't leave awesome, wrapped, presents.
To everyone that sent us gifts, gift cards, and money, I cannot thank you enough. Because of you, our tree had twice as many presents under it and Christmas didn't seem like such a failure. I really need to start a Christmas savings account for next couple years. Not working and surviving from paycheck to paycheck hasn't been easy, but especially come the holidays when we're trying to find extra money, it's just miserable. Another reason I'm glad Tori is still young, so she doesn't have to realize just how broke mommy and daddy are. Haha. Oh well, I think it comes with being young parents. For being 22 year old parents I think we are doing a damn good job raising Tori. Once we sell our house and either move back on base or to a different base, things will be a lot easier. Coming up with the extra money for a mortgage and utilities hasn't been fun.

Christmas is almost here!!

When I think of all the things I wanted to get done before Christmas, and then look at the list of things I actually did get done, I laugh a little. I did do Christmas cards, we did get a tree and decorate it (which is now dead and will be leaving Saturday morning before it burns the house down), and I did get everyone some presents. Mainly Tori, since I don't "need" presents, and John is leaving in a little over a week and can't really use many things. We are going to order him the Barnes and Noble "Nook" which is their digital reading device (similar to the Amazon.com Kindle, but with the rights to thousands more books) since he will have access to internet and will be able to down load new books whenever he finishes the one he's on. But, they are back ordered until the 21st, so, I'll have to ship it out to him with one of his care packages.

The things I didn't get done were take pictures with Santa, build a "deployment" album (this will hopefully go into his first care package now) with pictures of Tori, me, and then the few pictures we have of the whole family, and go shopping/plan for a Christmas dinner. I do have a steak in the freezer I can defrost... Haha. I suppose that will have to do. And I can make a Swedish Tea Roll for Christmas morning, but, other than that, my family is out of luck. There just isn't enough money to do everything. I'm thinking about putting $20/month away into a Christmas fund for next year. That way we're not scrambling around trying to budget an extra couple hundred dollars out of the final months of the year. Since, well, that money just isn't there.

Either way, Tori still isn't really old enough to remember EVERYTHING, so, if we are still acting like our age (AKA irresponsible) this year and haven't figured it all out yet, she won't know. Starting this next year though, I'm going to have to be on top of things a lot more (including housework, shoot me now please). I'm not sure how I feel about that. It will be fun to make cookies for Santa and give carrots to his reindeer, but, it makes more work for me. Since, we all know John won't be the one baking cookies.

Parenting Lectures

As a mother, and now pregnant with our second child, I get these "helpful parenting tips" from everyone. Their way of raising kids is the right way, and I NEED to know it or else my children will turn out terribly. I do listen, and nod, and I am polite when they finish, but really? Children today go through so many different things than say the children of the 60 year old woman standing in line behind me. Sure I bet a little brandy on a child's gums won't kill them, but I'd rather use something like Orajel that was made for children's gums instead of her husband's favorite drink. And if I don't feel like spanking my child to discipline her, that is my choice. Do not tell me I am doing something wrong unless I am jeopardizing my childs saftey and well-being. Counting to 3 and putting her on time out serves the same purpose without terrifying her.
My favorite lecture was one I recieved again today while at the doctors for an infected toe. How it went from my ingrown toenail to me breastfeeding, I have no idea. I wasn't even wearing a low cut top. But, regardless, the male doctor wanted to make sure I was going to. I thought he was going to make me sign in blood at one point.
Since I breastfed Tori, I was definitely planning on doing it again. It helped me loose the extra weight, helped me bond with Tori, and was a heck of a lot cheaper than buying $10 cans of formula. BUT, my issue wasn't the helpful suggestion of breastfeeding, it was the fact that a male, who cannot, and will not breastfeed a child was all but forcing me to tell him my unborn child will also be breastfed. Since I have gone through the process before, I am familiar with how big a pain in the butt it can be. Not only do your nips hurt for weeks in the beginning, but if you are unfortunate like me, even months later, when your body should only be producing the amount the child can drink, it's not. If I didn't wear some sort of absorbent cotton pad in my bra day and night, I would have been that woman everyone laughs at on tv sitcoms soaking through her shirt in public. The worst was at night when Tori began sleeping through the whole 8+ hours. It meant I had to have sore, HUGE, boobs from when I fell asleep until she woke up. Not fun. Especially since if I laid on my side, it meant I would leak everywhere. And forget laying on your stomach unless you are bone dry. They are too huge and swollen to allow you to get comfortable there, plus, once again, you leak.
Anyway, what I am trying to get at here is that men should not have the right, even holding a medical license, to tell women what they should do with their bodies. If you can't breastfeed, or choose not to, that is your choice. Formula these days has many of the same nutrients in it that breastmilk does, and formula children will grow up to lead healthy and successful lives like any breastfed child. And berating a poor woman to breastfeed only makes her feel that much worse if for example, she medically has an issue that makes her unable to, or because of work schedules cannot pump milk during the day.
So, to all you men out there who feel the need to tell women to breastfeed: don't, until you have had to do the same. No one likes a hypocrite.

Sleeping Beauty

After a long night and early morning (Holiday party, and then driving John back on base to his car so he could go snowboarding), I came back home, looked at the laundry and dishes, and decided not to do them right away (big surprise, I know). Instead, I sat on the couch with my beautiful little girl and fell asleep watching Handy Manny, a cartoon about a handy man and his talking tools, very cute.
Anyway, I was woken up about 30 minutes later by my daughter in my face. At first I had NO idea why she was so close, and to be honest, it definitely startled me. Then she leaned in even closer and kissed me and sat back up and giggled. It was cute, and I had no idea what had given her the idea. So I just decided she was being affectionate, and "accidentally" fell back asleep. After all, her cartoons are entertaining, but not enough to keep me from napping when I know I can and she is safe.
Another 15-20 minutes later, I'm woken up in the same cute way. I finally sit up and decide to figure out what the heck she is trying to do. Then I remembered we've been watching Sleeping Beauty a lot lately. Well, it seemed like John and I were watching it more than her. Her attention span with cartoons is about 30 minutes long, then she runs around and plays with the dog and her toys. I'm not complaining at all, I'd rather her not watch a ton of tv anyway.
But anyway, she has been paying attention a lot more than we thought, and must think the best way to wake someone up is to kiss them. It's too adorable and just had to share.

My sour mood Thursday

I woke up crying. The reality of my husband, my best friend, and my soul mate, leaving me to go off to war is just hitting me all too fast. I know he will be safe; he is an anaylst, who will be sitting at a desk, in the middle of a well protected base, after all. But, will I end up being okay? Self doubt is just taking over my esteem, and I can't handle it. I know I can survive without him. We've done this before. But, never have I been pregnant, with a toddler, and had to bring a child into this world alone. I know in the past, men weren't allowed to be in the room when children are born, and that's not what I need him here for. He can't help with labor anyway. No one can, except for Mr. Epidural. What I do need him for is to see him hold our daughter and help me bring her home. I need him to help me introduce her to Tori, who's world is about to change more than she could ever imagine. I need him to help me raising Torin because she's getting close to the age of a lot of huge milestones; potty training, switching to a big girl bed, getting herself dressed, etc. Without him being here, I know she will refuse to do anything new, and the extra stress is just something I cannot deal with.
With this new pregnancy came a lack of patience. What I used to be able to handle has been halved. So, not only do I feel like a bad parent for having such a short fuse, but I'm worried without John here to save me at the end of the day I will end up tearing Tori and I further apart. Numerous times I have just flat out yelled when she made me angry, I've picked her up with a little more force than usual, and have begun to just ignore her so I won't have to deal with putting her on time out over and over again.
Time outs are apparently not working, but I don't know what else to do. I refuse to hit her since she's not old enough to understand why and when I was a child, spankings only made me more afraid of my father. Because of it I never really got to know him, and now it's too late to try and make amends. I refuse to be that parent. But, it seems like there is no middle ground. Victoria doesn't listen to me when I count to 3 anymore, when I put her on time out, and bring her back out, she continues to do the same thing that got her the time out in the first place. And the whining is only getting worse.
I am just at a loss. And of course, because of the deployment, John and I have become more and more distant. We're afraid to leave each other, and because of it, we've just been on edge, and have almost been all out avoiding each other.
Why did I marry a military man? I may be a strong woman, but I'm beginning to think I am just not strong enough. No one should have to go through having a child alone when they are married. It's not right. These things need to be experienced together, as a family. When families are ripped apart and placed halfway across the globe from each other, it's bound to cause issues.
I just want June to be here so we can be a family again and getting back into our old routines.

A blog I can totally relate to

I follow this blog called Momicillin. It's hilarious. The new blog today was one I could TOTALLY relate to since we recently bought Tori gummy princess vitamins. If these are visible at any point in the day, or she remembers how wonderful they taste, she takes my hand, leads me to the bathroom, and points to where we keep them. Then she begins her demands for her candy vitamins, including hand gestures, change in voice tone and pitch, and even pulling on my pants pleading with me to get some. And as cute as it is, I try not to give her one because I have no idea what the overdose is, and really don't want to find out. It is the same way with the delicious tasting Motrin and Tylenol too.
And, to let everyone know, her vitamins do taste like gummy bears. John thinks I'm crazy for trying them, and LIKING them, but he has yet to discover their deliciousness. And despite all my efforts, he refuses to try them.

Here is the blog:
Scurvy on You

My new Arch Nemesis: The snow plow guy

The weekend was really great, until it kept snowing and snowing, and our cul-de-sac was not getting plowed. The streets around our cul-de-sac were plowed, but alas, ours was apparently invisible. Finally, Sunday afternoon, the snow plow man put on his glasses and SURPRISE! Discovered a cul-de-sac and houses under all that snow. Unfortunately, our house was still invisible to the man because he decided to plow all the snow into our driveway. So, between shoveling our own driveway and carving out a place for our driveway, our Sunday was pretty busy.
We must have gotten about 2 feet of snow over the weekend, and the snow on Sunday was wet and heavy. I was being a helpful wife and shoveling the driveway with John. I was doing alright as long as I didn't fill up the shovel like I usually do with the nice powder. But, I got a little overzealous and tried to push as much snow from one side of the driveway to the other and ended up loosing the battle. I came to a halt, and decided to just start running to push the shovel. WORST IDEA EVER! Apparently my weight, at a run, was still lighter than the amount of snow I had accumulated, and I went down, face first. It was over so fast! One minute I was standing, well vertically leaning, and the next I was face down in the ice laughing. "Luckily" I landed on my hip and not my enlarged uterus because I think it would have ended in an ER trip. My hip on the other hand was not all that happy.
So, moral of the story, if it's wet heavy snow, DO NOT push more than you can handle. And also, call to complain to your city public works when they aren't doing their job. Hopefully the woman I spoke to today will relay the message onto my nemesis, and we will not not to deal with him and his hatred for our driveway again. Otherwise, I'll have to start listening for him and run out of the house and get mad at him myself.

Oh where, oh where, could my little phone be...

As much as I love my daughter, her memory could be a little better. Yes, I know, children have short memories and attention spans. Well, that shouldn't apply to helping mommy find her phone which was hidden from her. The best part is, I ask Tori "Where's mommy's phone?" and she looks around for a minute, throws her arms up, and attempts to say something, which only sounds like gibberish to the rest of the literate world.

So, after searching her usual hiding places, shoes, toys, Tupperware, drawers, etc, all I find is chex cereal, lint, random toys, her missing forks and spoons, a twig (where did that come from?!?!), and the dog's favorite chew toy. Excellent. No phone.

My next option was to beg a friend of mine to call my phone. He does. Five times. Do I hear anything? No. Apparently this time Tori decided to hide my phone in the black hole in our house. I was unaware we had such a thing, but, now it explains where all our socks end up.

Looks like we will not be running our errands today after all. Instead, I will be tearing up my house trying to find my bright pink phone. I thought getting a bright cover would help me find it in cases like this, but, I was wrong.

It's over, for now

Last night, I stumbled in the door at 8:30 to find my daughter still awake with a poopy diaper, and the husband playing video games. For once, I didn't care. I had just finished my last final after waiting 2 hours for a computer to open up (with an appointment, mind you) and freezing my butt off in the 5 degree weather. I was thrilled to be done. If only I knew I don't have to go back eventually to finish school.

It seems like a never ending battle. I get time to take classes, only to find out that I have to take another semester off, perhaps two, because my husband will be gone, and we can't afford to pay for child care. The school offers child care, but not for children under 2. The base offers child care, but it's at least a year wait, and if you cannot put your child in day care the moment they get to your name on the list, you are never allowed to use them again. Stupid? I think yes.

But, regardless, even with my college and books being paid for (thanks to my grandparents), we just cannot shell out about $500/month, maybe more (that is half our mortgage, to put it in perspective) to put Tori and her new sister in daycare. And if I worked instead of going to school, I may be able to make that much money, but, it defeats the purpose of putting them in there in the first place since I would be working, not taking classes. So, it may be awhile. I'm thinking of waiting until the GI bill covers my school in 3 years, because then they give you a small housing allowance, money for books, as well as pay for your tuition. So, hopefully the housing allowance will be enough to afford day care. Otherwise, I guess we're in the same situation as before.

My only dilemma with waiting is that some of my classes I have worked hard in may expire. I don't know what the rules are on that, but I have heard math and english expire after so many years. This sounds a little ridiculous to me because unlike the sciences, math and English haven't changed much in the past couple hundred years. Sure, new words are added to the Webster Dictionary every year, but, is that really relevant to the essays we're required to write? No. It's all the same, just different teachers and methods. And math is the same way. Sure I don't really remember the quadratic equation or how to figure out the sin and cosin or a line (is it a line those are even used for?) but, I can use a calculator, and do basic math in my head and paper, and in life, that's all that is really applicable. Despite what you high school math teachers tried to convince you.

So, moral of the story is, I may have to start from scratch, but, it will be completely paid for, and I will have daycare available, if not kids starting school. I'm not looking forward to having to start over, so I'm pretending like it's not an option. Maybe I'll just cry when the advisor tells me that, and he'll help me out. It never works with speeding tickets though. Don't try it. They just get more mad.

Someone needs an attitude adjustment

My hellacious child (can you feel the love oozing?) has decided to make today the worst day ever. On top of having to have 2 finals to complete by Thursday, a mountain of laundry to wash and another to fold, dishes and wiping down the countertops, sweeping and vacuuming, and a scattering of toys across my house to put away, my daughter has decided to throw tantrum after tantrum. The total for timeouts is now up to 5, and it's not even noon. I know she got plenty of sleep last night, but whatever the case, she is not in a good mood.

• I tried to have her help me pick up her toys, and put all the letter magnets back on the fridge, but instead she threw them at me. So, that was a time out.

• I asked her to not unfold the blankets I had just folded and put away on the couch armchair, and while looking at me, she slowly pulled the bottom blanket out, unfolding all three of them. Time out number 2.

• I asked her to come out of my room so I could shut the door (she's not allowed to just hang out in there), and she just continued to play in the dogs bed. Time out number 3.

• I handed her some books to put away on her shelf, and she ripped out a page. Time out number 4.

• I sat her in her chair for a snack, and instead of eating her banana and oranges, she threw them at the dog, who wasted no time engulfing them like I hadn't already fed her. Time out number 5.

Needless to say, I will not be able to run my errands today before a friend stops by at 3. I may not even have time to take a shower because instead of having the house picked up before nap time so I can shower, I will be using her nap time to clean.

Baby name updates

Well, it seems that agreeing on a name with my husband was not as difficult as I thought. I mean, we did go through A LOT of names, but we have both agreed on a very pretty name. Annelise. It's a German name that is originally spelt Anneliese, but I think I prefer the American spelling leaving out the extra "e". I don't want to give her some odd spelling that no one can spell. I remember a lot of people in school having odd spellings, and they were constantly annoyed with people spelling their name wrong. Although, my name is spelt "correctly" and it was still spelt weird at times. I mean, come on, how hard is Tiffany to spell? Haha.
Anyway, now the battle is over the middle name. I think John likes Annelise Mae the best, which is good since the other option was to give her my middle name, Nicole. I don't know if that's a good idea or not. I mean, it is passing it down, which is neat, and since it's not a first name, it's not going to cause any confusion. But, I would like to give her her own unique name, like I did with Victoria.
In other news, we are all doing well, and trying to study to finish our finals this next week. Both of my classes are online, so I have to finish my finals by Thursday. I have to write a 5 page essay, which I have given very little thought on since I still have NO idea what I'm going to write about. It doesn't have many requirements, we just had 3 different styles available. And, none of them have called out to me as something I'd like to write. I like how there isn't many guidelines, but at the same time, guidelines do help you narrow down all your ideas. So, hopefully today and tomorrow I can figure something out and have it done before Thursday. I don't want to wait until the last minute.
My other final is an art test with 50 accumulative multiple choice questions. It's open book, so I just want to browse through the book and take it as soon as I can since I've been working on art the last couple days. I surprisingly really liked my art class. It opened my eyes a little to not only the history of art, but how it's created, and how it's critiqued. And the book was surprisingly interesting. It had a lot of pictures, which really helps explain the different types of art and shows you the variables in each style.
And John has already taken his Chemistry final last week, but he has his math final on Tuesday. So, he's been studying a couple chapters a day to make sure he understands all the formulas and things that could show up on the final. I am SOO glad I finished all my math requirements. I hate it. Mostly because ever teacher teaches differently. I've only found one teacher that I REALLY was able to understand math from. I actually enjoyed that class, and since it was an algebra class it did help me out a lot. But, for the most part, since I don't use any math in my daily life besides calculating out how much 2.5 lbs of apples will cost at their set price. Haha. Not too difficult. ;) Plus, cell phones have calculators on them, so if ever I don't even feel like doing that, like Tori won't stop talking, and I can't concentrate, I can just do it on my phone. My phone even turns into a scientific calculator. In case I ever wanted to calculate sin or cosin, I'm set. Haha.
And of course, Victoria is doing really well. Running around, throwing her toys around the house, playing with the dog, and eating lots of carbohydrates. it's her favorite food type. Bread, plain pasta, dry cereal, etc. And she just discovered vanilla and chocolate ice cream. At first she refused to eat the vanilla ice cream with the chocolate syrup because she didn't recognize it (that's how she decides what to eat these days, only recognizable food), but John outsmarted her and she decided she liked it. Although I don't know if it was a good idea. Haha. Now she LOVES ice cream.
Oh yes, and it's snowing today. FINALLY. It's been super cold (like high's of 30, at best) but we have no snow on the ground. The little we got a week or two ago melted during a slight "heat wave" of 40 degree weather. So, anyway, time to actually go out and buy Tori her snow suit. I bought her shoes already. I just need to get her some snow proof clothing. Hopefully Walmart will have some cheap options. Although, if I get a better quality one, it'll last for this next kid. But, with the holidays upon us, money isn't exactly abundant. We'll see.

And the gender is...

A girl! Good news is, I don't have to spend a trillion dollars on clothes for the next few years. I'm sure as soon as this next one starts catching on that she's not getting "new" clothes, I'll have to start supplementing the used ones, but hey, she'll probably hate me at some point anyway, so, why not make her wear clothes she hates while I'm at it!! Haha.
Anyway, since I named Victoria, I am being reminded I promised John he could name the next one. The only problem? He wants to name her Maylene. It's not the ugliest name I've ever heard, but I definitely am not a fan. Especially when her older sister is named Victoria Elizabeth... I mean, I'm jealous of her name, so, I can only imagine what a younger sister would feel like if she was named Maylene. And it's not even a family heirloom name. It's just a name he pulled out of his butt. So, anyway, hopefully I'll be able to persuade him into changing his mind. The only problem? Every name I come up with, he hates. I literally shout it out, and before I can even take a breath and wait for a response, he shoots it down.
So, if anyone would like to help me find a name for our next child, I will be taking suggestions. Hey, I may even try to figure out how to create a poll on here. I'm sure it's do-able. Maybe in a couple weeks of narrowing down names, I can take a formal vote. We shall see. Wish me luck. ;)

Thanksgiving

This year, our household hosted Thanksgiving. Originally it was only supposed to be us and 2 other couples. A very calm Thanksgiving with 7 people, including the 2 toddlers (Tori and her friend Claire). Well, a few days before the big event, I found out that it wouldn't just be 7 people, but more like 16. Luckily I always plan on making TONS so everyone gets to take home lots of leftovers, so I only had to run to the store to grab a few extras. Anyway, we cooked our 20 lb turkey over night like my grandma Carol does, and it was absolutely delicious. I had to scrap the bones for some extra meat once everyone left since there wasn't much left. Just a drum stick and a wing. Luckily I had a friend make another smaller turkey so we stole some breast meat.
Anyway, it was an eventful day/evening which ended in a lot of cleaning. Luckily since we definitely don't have seating for everyone, we used paper plates and called it a day, so that made it a lot easier. And we're still working on leftovers of the quadruple batch of potatoes, cranberry sauce and stuffing. So, it's been a nice weekend of not cooking or doing much cleaning.

Other than that, I'm still pregnant. This week I have my next appointment, so more to come on that. I'm hoping it's a boy, but I have this bad feeling it is going to be a girl, again. Not that we won't love her. I just really don't want to deal with 2 girls and all the drama that will inevitably ensue. Not to mention that they are so close in age that it will constantly be a battle.

And John deploys in about a month. I'm not excited. It finally hit me last night that not only will Tori and I be without him for 5 months, but I will be very pregnant, and delivering our next child alone. Hopefully my mom will make it out here in time (I'd like for her to just stay for a month or two), since I'm freaking out that my friends around here won't get me to the hospital in time. Since they'll have to drive from their house, one to watch Tori, and one to take me. I guess if worse comes to worse, I can just drive myself as soon as labor starts. It's not so bad in the very beginning. But, it's a lot of waiting in the hospital... anyway, I will miss my hubby a lot. And I'm really not looking forward to this next year. At least not before May.

The Swine

No matter how much you try to ignore H1N1, it still manages to tear you down. Normally mind over matter can help you get over some head colds, but apparently somewhere in the process of the mutation of this particular flu bug, the mind over matter has been shot down, and is now laughed at.
On a side note, it's necessary to attempt this feat when you have a sick husband and a sick child. Sick men are like wounded bears, and 18 month old's don't understand why you can't fix them. So, you are forced to take care of them when you would rather have never woken up.
Oh yes, and I feel I should also note that when you're pregnant your arsenal of medications is very limited, and none of them help. I'm taking Tamiflu (which MAKES me puke) and Tylenol Cold (which I have run out of as of an hour ago). So, the issue is giving a friend a list of things to pick up at the store, or just going out and braving the freezing weather on your own. Maybe if I walk around with one of those masks on people will steer clear. I have no patience left to deal with the people of Walmart (check it out www.peopleofwalmart.com) I feel like I may have already passed that link along, but, just in case, you get it again.
Another thing I hate, between being pregnant and sick I cannot remember anything. Last night I skipped Tori's dose of Tamiflu because I couldn't remember if I had given it to her or not. I woke up this morning realizing that I had not given it to her lat night, and immediately felt terrible.
Anyway, moral of the story is, wash your hands and use hand sanitizer like a mad man. I thought I was being good, but apparently not good enough. So, be better.

Double Strollers

So, since I will soon need to cart 2 children around under 3 (AHHH!!!) I decided a double stroller would be a must have purchase. After doing some research, I decided the side by side strollers, although nice because it's not super long (you save yourself from being THAT person that hits everyone in the Achilles) is much too wide to take shopping. I like being able to fit down isles and what not. Plus, on sidewalks, I'd hate to run everyone off just so I can get to where I need to go. So, ultimately, I have decided to get the narrower version where they sit single file. After doing even more research, I found that I have to get a Graco if I want my current infant car seat to fit into it (makes it easy when the kid is still asleep, but you need to get out of the car). I have 2 options, the DuoGlider or the Quattro Tour duo. I currently own the Quattro Tour single stroller, and I LOVE IT. So, that's what I'm leaning towards, but it's an extra $50-$100 more than the other for various reasons. Like more storage, and a more compact design so it can fit in sedans, or not take up the entire back of an SUV. So... anyway, who knew picking out a double stroller would be so difficult?
On top of all the choices you have for a regular shopping stroller, you also have the jobbing stroller which is light-weight. I debated on getting one of these, but they are all side by side and their front wheel sticks out pretty far... I guess I will go to Babies R' Us and test drive some in the coming months. Try to get John's opinion before he leaves for Afghanistan.

Slacker

Yes, I know... I haven't even thought about my blog in weeks. Which is good and bad. I've been super busy, and whatever time I have free, I'm typically napping. And no, I'm not lazy. As some of you may know, I'm pregnant again with our second child. I am 11 weeks along, as of yesterday, and hopefully at my next ultrasound later this month (the 28th) we'll know if it's a boy or a girl. Fingers crossed John passed along his male sperm. I don't know if I could convince him to risk 3 girls. And I think he'd hate me forever if I tricked him by "taking" my birth control. Haha. Although, it happened the first time! I suppose it wouldn't be such a huge surprise if my fertility told the birth control "sorry, I win." But, with that being said. I forgot how terrible the first trimester of pregnancy is. And I'm remembering how terrible the third trimester is... so, if this is our last child, I will be one happy lady. Getting the baby making over and done with early! That way by the time we're 45 we'll HOPEFULLY have an empty nest and be able to retire from the military, and enjoy being just the two of us again. We didn't get much time before Tori showed up, so I'm looking forward to it. Now I just have to make my children super smart so I don't have to pay for college. Haha. Or convince the grandparents to pay for it... we don't really have even $15/month to be putting away. Unfortunately between mortgage, groceries, and bills we're pretty much living from paycheck to paycheck. Not my idea of a good time, but, that's how it's going to be for a few years.
Anyway, we're really looking forward to Halloween. As I'm sure you noticed in the pictures above, Tori is going to be Piglet, and last night I spent an hour at the sewing machine and made Ozzie a costume as Tigger. Although it could work as a tiger too, it's basically orange fabric with black stripes.
I'm trying to convince John we need to buy decorations, but he refuses to do so until we settle down... looks like we'll finally have decorations for the holidays when we're in our 50s. It's hard to settle down in the military. But, thank goodness the dollar store has decorations. That way if we have to throw them away when we move, it's really not too big of a loss. I know we're definitely having people over here for Thanskgiving and Halloween, and I think we're going over to a friends house for Christmas dinner. Otherwise, we'll have people over here too.
So... lots going on over here in Utah. The trees are beautiful, and the mountains have some dusting of snow. It hasn't rained for a week or so, which means it's begun to melt, but, I'm really looking forward to seeing them covered in snow again. It truly is beautiful here. Even without an ocean.

It's that time of year again

Mom tips

While talking to numerous friends I have who are either becoming parents, are parents, or children are on the list of things "to do," I realized that I have massive amounts of vital Mom information. I'm not sure if I am going to make it a weekly thing on here to write about my newest discovery, or write about various tips, but I definitely think I should be writing something to help my fellow mothers. I would love it if people would help chip in with thier ideas too since, after all, that's what mom's are good at, sharing tips and ideas.
So, for today, I think I'm going to give my two cents about grocery shopping with a kid. I have no idea how to shop with two, since I haven't gotten their yet, but, this will at least give you some ideas.
First off, before even heading out the door, you need to pack snacks. If your child is still a baby, bring a bottle. If they're old enough to handle finger foods, pack a ziplock, or a tupperware, with their favorite things. Tori loves Kix, Whole Grain Cherrios, and Whole Grain Goldfish (I'm sure you can see my scheme already. If she doesn't know the other type exists, she won't be able to argue with me about getting the white bread, or the more unhealthy choice), so that is my go-to mix whether it's a mid-day snack at home, or when we're out and about.
Also, make sure to keep some toys in your purse and rotate them out often so it's not always the same toy. If they see a "new" toy, it will keep them entertained longer than one they see all the time.
Now, you're ready to head to the store! When you get there, give them a job. Tori likes to hold my list, and an item we pick up that makes some sort of noise, like the plastic bag holding the apples. Yes, it's OKAY if they touch it. Just watch them! I mean, for peats sake, they are sitting right in front of you. If they bring it close to their face, you know that your kid isn't ready, and give them something else, like the bag of rice, or something equally "exciting." Things that they can feel the texture of is of course better, since it helps them with their learning.
One last tip. I like to play games with Tori while we're shopping. Yes, I'm sure people think I need to be institutionalized sometimes, but, it's keeping my kid entertained, so, who cares?? Peek-a-boo in the beginning, and then once they get that concept, hide behind the fruit stand, or just around the corner of an isle. Or, when you pick up something large, like diapers or toilet paper, use that to try to "hide" behind. They'll think it's hilarious. Also, I like to push the cart a little bit ahead of me (make sure you don't have the cart that veers to the right or left as soon as you let go when you do this) and then in my best acting job, I try to catch up. Use all your skills, large arm movements, breathing heavy, etc. They're pretty easy to fool. Anyway, every time I do this, Victoria thinks it's HILARIOUS.
So, anyway, hopefully your shopping trips are better! Also, when they get old enough to reach things, park in the middle of the isle. Yeah, you'll be "that person" but, whatever. You're saving the employees hours of work. Also, be firm when they whine about not getting what they want. If you look like you're in charge of your child, you won't look like a bad parent. And truth is, anyone who has ever babysat, or had children themselves understand what you're going through. If worse comes to worse, leave the store. You can go back later on once you have someone to watch your kid, or when they calm down.
Good luck!

Tonsillitus?

So, my throat is killing me, but only on the right side of my face. And my lymph node and surrounding area is super sore, like I was punched, and it's now completely bruised. It hurts to swallow, or to even open my mouth wide. Guess no giant burgers/sandwiches for me. :(
I looked in my throat, and nothing seems swollen. It's hurting right where my upper gum meets my cheek. I have no idea what this is, but it sucks. I'm debating on going to the ER since I don't want to wait until Monday. And even then, I don't know if anyone on base will be able to do anything about it. The doctors there just want to refer me off base, but I have to go in to get referred. It's the biggest pain in my butt, since dragging a 1 1/2 year old around is never fun. Especially if I can't time things around her naps, like last minute appointments.
Anyway, so, I'm trying to ignore this severe pain my my mouth, but, it's hard since I need to swallow every minute. Or I go to yawn and can't.
Maybe I'll try to find a ear, nose and throat doctor. I'm sure they'll know what they're doing. But once again, I think I need a referral. UGH!!!!

Reminiscing

I had to pick a topic for my English class that changed my life forever and made me who I am today. I chose to revisit the death of my dad. As easy as it is to write, the words flow freely from my brain, and fit together nicely, the hard part is rereading.
This is only a brief sketch, helping me compose my thoughts and ideas for my future essay, but, after some thought, wanted to post it here as well. It's hard to critic my writing when you don't know the paramaters, but, here are some things to think about while reading:
What am I wanting to say, but don't?
What line appears most important to the meaning of this sketch?
What was the most surprising thing I said or showed?
What part seems the most important? And what needs to be told that isn't?

Thanks everyone. I appreciate your support and help. After all, writing is meant to be read.


Someone once told me death is like a rock thrown into a stream. In the beginning, its edges are rough, and the stream cannot easily move around it. After time, the stream smooths the edges, and learns to move around it. Enough time has passed, where I have smoothed the edges, but it still feels like yesterday. I can watch myself sitting in the waiting room with my brother, grandparents, and my dad's girlfriend trying to remain busy. It has been much too long since I last said good-bye to my father, calming his nerves, telling him we would see him later, and we long him, yet I remain hopeful. After all, it was just an exploratory surgery.

A nurse comes around the corner “We are stitching your father back up, and he will be out shortly.” A relief, or so I thought. Not long after, a doctor comes around the corner and wants to speak to everyone but my brother and I. I begin to freak out, but try not to show it too much. I know something is wrong, but don't want my brother to worry. What seems like hours later and miles paced, my grandfather comes around the corner crying. I know from that moment on, my life will never be the same. I am forced to grow up, and be the shoulder for everyone to cry on. I had to be the glue to hold the family together because no one else was willing to step up. I walk into a small room, and a doctor tries to explain to me what happened. They tell me my father had a starburst of tumors surrounding every organ he has. They attempted to remove the large ones from around his heart, but, couldn’t stop the hemorrhaging. “Can we see him?” I ask. The doctor looks at me, and doesn’t know quite how to react. “Yes, you may.” As he leads us back to the rooms.

20 Kid-Friendly Veggies: Week One: Make Familiar Veggies More Fun

AWESOME ideas for feeding your kids veggies!

20 Kid-Friendly Veggies: Week One: Make Familiar Veggies More Fun

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The Dentist

So, yesterday and today were Tori and my dentists appointments. I realized as soon as I walked into my dentist office yesterday, I didn't like it. First off, it's a house. Well, it once was a house, now it's a dentist's office. The dentist seemed really nice, until he was scraping the calcium deposits off my teeth from the past 2 years. Luckily, they were really only behind my two front bottom teeth. Apparently there is a small gap there that I forgot about. Anyway, so now I can't stop tonguing that spot. It feels odd.
Anyway between what seemed like pieces of the teeth flying out of my mouth, and trying to keep my head still while he's pulling on it with a sharp metal object, I realized that I probably have more issues. So, I ask. I guess it's better to have them deal with the issues now than another 2 years down the road when I need dentures because all my teeth have been taken out.
Luckily, it just looks like my two original fillings (from the age of 12) need to be replaced, which is nice since having giant silver blobs in my mouth really isn't attractive. Although, come to think of it, I can't remember the last time someone was looking that far into my mouth, or opening my mouth that far for anyone to look into in the first place... And then, out of no where, "Oh, looks like you may have a small cavity due to a deep crevice in your tooth. No biggie, we'll get it when we fix the old fillings." This is the part where I FREAK OUT!!!
So, I'm not afraid of the dentist. Let me just put that out there. My previous dentist was nice, plus, since the age of 12, I haven't had anything besides x-rays and cleanings. And I'm not afraid of needles. Heck, I WATCH them stab me. But, needles in my mouth? No thank you! And then, the sound of them grinding away my teeth as they attempt to replace it with a tooth substitute? Count me out. I DO NOT want a piece of that. Thanks though.
So, now, D-Day, for me, is November 1st. I will only be responding to texts, and if anyone would like to come and help me watch Tori while I look and talk like a chipmunk, it would be greatly appreciated. Although, you will be checked at the door for cameras.
On a brighter note, Tori had her dentist appointment this morning. It was basically me just trying to show her that the dentist is fun (it's called Kidz Dental Works) since there are all sorts of murals of Dr. Seuss on the walls, a giant salt water fish tank (Nemo and sea anemone included), and a play room with a play kitchen. She was having fun until she had to lay down on my knees while a (very nice stranger) poked around her mouth with a dental mirror. She didn't enjoy that. And while we were walking back into the front room, a woman asked the hygienist if the subdued kid woke up and started crying. Yeah, apparently it was bad. Her response was awesome though "No, they don't just wake up." Perhaps I should get my fillings there? I wouldn't mind being put down so I'm unconscious for their drilling. Or at least give me some laughing gas BEFORE you stab me with your giant needle!! Jeez.
Anyway, Tori got a little zebra koosh ball thing, and has probably forgotten the whole thing. She'll remember on March 15th when we go back though. There will be a little voice in the back of her head warning her to not follow the nice lady in bright pink scrubs. I'm sure of it.

AHHHHH!!!

So, after this weekend, of non-stop work and play, I realized this morning I had 4 diapers left, and no transportation to buy more. Luckily, I happen to have a plethora of "little swimmers" diapers, which I plan on using until I have the opportunity to go shopping (probably at 10 PM tonight, once John gets home). The only bad thing is that since Tori is teething at the moment, just about every diaper is a messy one. AND, the swim diapers happen to be more like pull-ups, and so, removing them with a mess will be tricky. Plus, since they are meant to be submerged in water for longer periods of time, I don't believe they will be holding much in the way of liquids.
That is pretty much my day. I'm just playing Russian Roulette with my toddler and her diapers. Hoping that we will be able to survive until tonight, or tomorrow.
Having only 1 car is probably the biggest pain in the butt ever. We could have picked up a car for John over the weekend or at least one this week if a ex-friend of ours would have done what he was supposed to before PCSing to Japan. Basically, there is an open hold on John's credit because this idiot couldn't sign a piece of paper at the court saying we paid him. He crashed our car, which we owned, and since he had been paying the insurance (and showed up in court in uniform, which is AGAINST THE AF REGULATIONS!!) while basically borrowing it from us, the judge ruled that we pay him a ton of money. Anyway, he cashed the check, and left the country. Now, a year later, when we attempt to get a small car loan, we can't.
Thanks Garren. As if I needed a reason to hate you even more.

One of those days

Yesterday was one constant headache. Between starting school (and the stress of ordering the WRONG textbook due to a mix up at the bookstore) and Tori being a whiny brat, I didn't get anything done, and was just in a terrible mood all day. I don't know what has gotten into Tori, but lately if she doesn't get what she wants, she will just scream and scream until you figure out what it is. And, since I am just as stubborn as her, I tell her unless she can somehow communicate what it is she wants, she won't be getting it. So, we've gone around the room pointing at things and trying them out as well as just letting her sit there and freak out until she realizes I won't pay attention to her when she cries.
Needless to say, it looks like today may be another whiny toddler day... I think what's going on it another one of her teeth is popping through, but, still, she needs to learn not to whine. Or throw herself on the floor when she sees me. I've also learned that when she's alone with daddy, or anyone else, she doens't whine. So.... I don't think she is really in pain. She just thinks she can get away with it with me.
So... for the time being... I'm going to be going crazy until I can tell her to cut it out. Perhaps more time-outs will work. Haha.
AHHH!!!

Pill-popping for beauty purposes?

I apologize for any men who read my blog, this will be of NO interest to you.
So, as I was taking my prenatal vitamin this morning, I got to thinking... Prenatals help your nails grow, as well as help with your hair, but not as much as Biotin (which they have now started putting in conditioners). Which means there must be PLENTY of other vitamins out there, so, I was wondering what other pills women take to help stay beautiful.
After a little research I discovered that there was tons of vitamins women take! Fish Oils was probably the most obvious (I need to start taking them again now that I think of it). But there were anti-wrinkle/aging pills like Imedeen (very pricey), Biosil (claims to reduce wrinkles 19%), and Hydraplenish (which has Hyalauronic Acid and is a great internal moisturizer for skin/joints). Not to mention things that help with skin issues, like most birth control pills.
Anyway, I figured I would post this so all the other women can either tell me what they use (share the wealth!) or let me know how these things work if you already are using them.
I plan on picking up some Biotin since after bleaching my hair so much, it's still trying to recover. More to come on this after I do some personal research. All I can say at the moment is GO BUY PRENATALS! My nails are super strong and grow quickly.

Leaving Utah??

So, I haven't written much the past few days since all I could think of writing about was fighting with the hubs. I didn't want to bad mouth him... since I definitely would have. Anyway, things are resolved (thank God!), and now that I look back, I thought it was all important at the times, but, it really wasn't THAT big of a deal.
Anyway, in more exciting news. As John was leaving this morning he told me that since Hill AFB plans on retiring 17 jets (John is an F-16 Maintenance Analyst) they will be getting rid of 2-3 Analysts, and 4 Schedulers. After hearing this, I was already excited. Then he told me that the two Analysts that are most eligible are himself and Sgt. Ninal (his boss) since they have been here the longest. Which means that yeah, we won't be able to finish school here, but, I'm sure where ever we go, we can find a place to take school. Plus, on base they always have testing areas that work with many schools, so technically we wouldn't have to leave base, and we could go to a school near us.
As much as many of you are not going to want to hear this, I have decided that our number 1 choice at this time is out of the country. I REALLY want to be stationed in Kadena, Japan. First off, getting stationed out of the states right now, may be one of our last chances. As soon as John becomes an officer (about 4-5 years from now), we won't be stationed out of the states. Since he's planning on being a Chemistry major, we'll get stationed in New Mexico, Colorado, or California for the duration of his career. Of course we'll be moving every few years since he'll be an officer, and they don't like the subordinates get too used to their higher ups, but, there are only so many places that a Chem major can go and do what will be helpful.
So, sorry mom, but when you come to visit me in Japan (haha, I talk like it's already a sure thing!) at least you can enjoy REAL sushi. And, think of it this way, it's only a 10 hour plane ride! If I was to get stationed in Germany, it would be more like 22 hours! So, it's not that bad!!!
The only thing I'm a little sad about is that I love my midwife, and wanted to stay here until I had my next baby. But... this is the nature of being a military wife. You don't get to choose much about where you go, and when you go. Planning only gets you so far. And they never work out like you want them to anyway.

Rainy Saturday Morning

I woke up this morning to find the sun had never come out, and everyone (including Tori!!) Had slept in until 8:30! It was great catching up on some sleep since the night before I got 3 1/2 hours, at best.
Anyway, the temperature outside has dropped like crazy compared to the mid-90's we had the last couple days. I'm actually really excited about it. It has just been too hot lately! I mean, I love wearing my tanks and shorts, but, I can't wait to curl up in sweaters and boots. I'm not looking forward to having to shovel the driveway, but being able to get Victoria all bundled up and go outside to play in the snow will be fun. Last winter she was too little to really appreciate it. So... this time will be fun. I wonder if she's old enough to be pulled in a sled... Perhaps we can go to WalMart and grab one. If John and I start from day 1 of the snow, we could make a great hill to slide down on in our back yard. Or better yet, we can put it in out front yard and convince the neighborhood kids to help us. That way they can use it too. I know last year John wanted to make another igloo, but it just never happened. Perhaps I can help him with that.
Also, I may be able to go snowboarding at least in the beginning of the season! So exciting. I miss snowboarding. I just think that by the end of the winter, if everything works out soon, I'll be too preggers, and John won't let me. :(
You miss out on a lot of things while you're pregnant... it would be nice if it was shorter... haha.
Anyway, I'm going to go back to cuddling with my girl and watching cartoons on Disney Channel. My favorite thing to do. :)

Why can't I sleep!?!?!

it's officially 0125. And... I'm awake. What the heck. I'm supposed to be driving John to work tomorrow at 0600... which means I will MAYBE be getting 4 hours of sleep.
But, for some reason, unknown to me, I cannot sleep. We have no more Nyquil, so it's not like I can take some of that to help relax me at least. Or Tylenol PM, since at this point, if I took 1, I wouldn't be able to wake up with John, little alone wake up with Tori at 0730. Sorry for all the miltary time by the way, it's getting to be habit. Luckily you don't really have to do anything but take off the zero in front. It's afternoon that I can still get a little confused with.
Anyway... lets all hope I'm not super cranky tomorrow because of my lack of sleep. Who knows, maybe my body thrives off lack of sleep... or perhaps it's all the coffee I like to drink when I don't get sleep. Either way, I will definitely be brewing a large pot tomorrow.
Even Ozzie is passed out next to me... legs in the air, spread eagle. Awesome.
All the Utards are asleep, except for me. I should go running around the streets just to make sure. Maybe that will wear me out... who knows. Time to at least go try to sleep... wish me luck.

I need to win the lottery

Like most people, I would love to win the lottery. First off, having a maid, would be excellent. Not every day, but a few times a month to get the "big" stuff, like the bathrooms, and cleaning the baseboards, blinds, and other "spring" cleaning things. I seem to be the only one who actually cleans them. Every once in awhile I do wait and see if they'll get done, but, much to my dismay, it just means more cleaning for me. Or more things that make me want to puke... which is always wonderful. Not.

Also, I could really use the money to decorate my house. It still looks we're in dorm phase. Well, at least I think so. We have all the bare essentials, which doesn't include curtains. In fact, only 3 windows in our entire house have some sort of curtain. They all have blinds, and most have the metal hooks to hang curtains, but we don't have the rods or material to hang up. Plus, 2 windows are bay windows, so... I'm assuming the curtain rods for that are way more expensive.

So... yeah. if anyone wants to start buying us lottery tickets, I'll pay off your mortgage or other debt when we win... depending on how much we win that is. If we only win $10k... I'll give you $1k. Afterall, we have lots of debt too. Well, a mortgage and a few minor credit cards.