How am I going to have 2?!?

As the day slowly rolled on I began to realize that I have no patience anymore. This could be attributed to the fact that I get no sleep anymore because I have an alien growing in my uterus stealing my nutrients and energy, or because Tori is entering the terrible two's. Maybe I just only had so much, and Tori's first 2 years just took it all. Maybe it's like a females eggs, you're born with so much, and once they're gone, they're gone. Now, like eggs, I don't think you're ever supposed to be completely depleated, since you're born with a lot and couldn't use them all by menopause even if you tried, but, maybe I was unfortunate and they gave me double the fertility and half the patience. It makes sense with how easy I've been able to get pregnant over the past couple years. Once while on a "reliable" birth control.

I don't know if they have patience building workshops, but at this point I'm thinking that if I am going to have two children, it's going to be necessary for me to take them. I'm pretty sure killing your own children due to extreme frustration is not a viable excuse to law enforcement and the courts. And from the prison shows I've seen on documentaries and what not, I would not survive. I would be taken in as some macho lady's toy, and would hope to die in my sleep, or even shanked (stabbed, for those of you not current on your prision or gang lingo) during lunch.

So, anyway, what I am trying to get at is, without John coming home every night to give me even 15 minutes of peace, or at least an adult to converse with, I am going crazy. I don't REALLY miss him yet since it's only been a couple days, but come 4-5PM, I miss having someone to pass Tori off to. Unfortunately, unlike the dog, I can't lock Tori in her kennel when she misbehaves. I guess the crib will have to do, although time outs seem to have lost their effect. As well as counting to three. I'm hoping this is just a phase, perhaps even brought on by the fact her daddy left, and she's blaming me for it. But, whatever the case may be, I can only take so much before I turn into Agatha Trunchbowl, from the movie Matilda, and lock someone up in the choky (a small dungeon in the principle's office in the movie) or swing a girl around by her pigtails like I'm throwing a discus in the olympics (This probably made no sense if you never saw the movie, so feel free to pretend like you never read it.).

So, as of today, I am going to need childcare once a week. Please contact me if you're interested for the position. Also, I will be accepting applications to clean my house. You will be paid in a loaf of bread or dinner, your choice. Haha. But seriously... feel free to help out.